RESCUE~Chapter 2

Well, I have just given into the fact that this book is going to come slowly. But, for me, that's a good thing. Because, I've noticed that I really tend to rush my work wayyyy to fast and that makes for pathetic books. So...I'm slowing down. I think that most of my chapters will be "short-ish", but I don't see that as a major problem if they work. Felt so good to get to write today. :D
How is the flow in this chapter? Is the pacing slowed down enough? Are you intrigued? And does it make sense?
Oh! And I found pictures of all three of my main characters! :D I may post those later if y'all are interested.
Oh...and apparently I have a new character. I say "apparently" because I had not planned for this dude at all. Have no idea where he came from, but he's insisting he stays. So, I just need to find him a last name and a face. I'm actually pretty glad that he popped up when he did. He may just be the element that I knew my story needed. Kinda  a lighter element to keep things from getting just too depressing. :P
Anyways...I'd really appreciate any and all thoughts. On this chapter and how it's working with the rest of the book so far. Thanks so much! :)
(Errr...I can't get the formatting on blogger to let me indent the paragraphs >.<)

~.~.~.~.

Chapter 2

“Hollister!” The German accent rippled through the air from an old, heavyset man lounging in his desk chair. “Where is that boy?”

A man in his mid-twenties, wearing a uniform that resembled that of the German military, ran into the room and skidded to a stop, bowing low, then stood at attention. “Yes, Heir Buckeimer.”

He sat up and leaned forward. “Why are you never here when I need you? I am leaving for a meeting in Berlin in twenty minutes and I am forced to take you with me.”

“A meeting?”

“Don't ask questions, just follow and do as I say!”

Hollister bowed again and said, “What would you have me do, sir?”

“Whatever I say to do, dumcoff! Get my briefcase from the cabinet and bring it here, then go get yourself some clothes packed. We will be gone over the whole of this week.”

“Yes, sir.” Bowing one last time, Hollister turned to leave the room.

“And, boy!” The old German's voice shot towards him.

Hollister turned and looked back. “Sir?”

“Not a word of this to anyone. This meeting is top secret and I will have you shot if anyone but you and me in this compound know about it. As a matter of fact, I will shoot you myself. Understood?”

Hollister hesitated, then nodded. “Understood, Heir Buckeimer.” He turned again and went out of the room, towards his quarters.

Stepping into his room, he reached to the right and flipped the light switch on to illuminate the room with a soft, yellow light. He went over to his closet and pulled out a duffel bag before turning and proceeding to pull different articles of clothing out of his dresser drawers.

His thoughts raced as he tried to imagine what this meeting could be about and why Buckeimer had chosen to take him instead of his regular attendant, Mueller. Why would there even have to be a top secret meeting? Germany was at peace. At least, as at peace as it always had been since Hollister could remember. And what part would he have in it? Maybe Mueller was sick and he was just the most available man. But, no...that couldn't be it. He hadn't been raised to just be a general's attendant. He knew things. More than most of the men in the compound.

The door opened behind him and he turned to see his room-mate standing there, staring down at him. “Where are you going, Derek?”

He shrugged and placed a shirt into the bag. “Just on a trip.”

“But, where? I never heard of any trip. Are you going alone?”

“I can' talk about it, Peter.”

Peter sat down on the bed and raised his cigarette to his mouth. “Why on earth not?”

“I have orders. It's top secret and I'm not to talk about it to anyone.”

His friend jumped up, nearly knocking the pile of clothes on the bed over. “You don't think this could have anything to do with Fellcamp Mission, do you?”

Derek stopped folding the shirt he was holding and looked up. “I-I don't know. I wasn't told anything.”

“It must be, Derek! It must be! And that is why they are choosing you to go. That's why they have been putting you through so much special training and...”

“Lower your voice!” Derek hissed, jumping up and slamming the door shut. “You're not supposed to know any of this. You'll get us both in trouble if anyone knows what I've told you.”

“Alright, alright. Yes, I'm sorry. But, think about it. And after the conversation I over-heard last week...it must be a Code Blue being called.”

“You don't even know where I'm going. And-wait, what phone call did you overhear?”

“It was Buckeimer talking to the American doctor.”

“Willard?”

“Yes, Willard.”

“How did you hear it?” Derek forgot about his packing and stared at his friend.

“How I heard it is irrelevant and what you don't know can't hurt you.”

Derek shook his head and crossed his arms. “Have it your way. But, tell me what was said.”

“Well, I could only hear the General's side, but it sounded like he was really hammering Willard for the package.”

“What package?”

Peter shrugged. “I don't know what's in the package, but it must be important because he was threatening the lives of Willard's entire family.”

Derek took a deep breath, then went back to his clothes and continued folding them. “Even supposing all that you say is true, this doesn't necessarily mean that they are launching the Fellcamp Mission.”

“What else could it mean?” Peter nearly shouted.

“I-I don't know.. But, we can't assume anything and we especially can't let Buckeimer know what pieces we put together. He has executed men for less.”

“Right.” Peter nodded and crammed his cigarette into an ashtray on the nightstand next to him. “How long will you be gone?”

“I'm not supposed to-”

“Oh, can it, Derek.” Peter snorted. “You've told me way more than that before.”

“He said he'd personally shoot me if I told anyone anything.”

Peter whistled and grinned. “That confirms everything in my mind.”

“What? Because Buckeimer would shoot someone? We've seen him shoot nearly half a dozen men before. Why would one more be such a big deal?”

“Not just that he would shoot one more man, Derek. That he would shoot you.”

Derek looked up and raised an eyebrow as he he zipped the duffel closed.

“They have been putting you through more special training than all the rest of us combined. There has to be a reason. And a big one. They obviously have a plan for you and so for Bucky to say he'd just shoot you...that's got to mean something substantial.”

Derek stood up, slinging the bag over his shoulder and looked at his friend. “Peter, listen. You may be right.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Okay,” Derek sighed. “You're probably right. But, if you are, that means that we have to be more careful now than we ever have been. Only a handful of us even know about the mission and why we are all here.”

Peter nodded and tried to look serious, but couldn't hide the twinkle in his young eyes. “Just think, Derek. What we have been waiting for our entire lives may be starting to finally happen.”

“I don't know, Peter. And I don't know if I'm ready for that to happen. We know more than most, but we still don't know everything. Something about it isn't right.”

“Lighten up! You're probably their secret weapon! I mean, why else would they be taking you or put you through all that training?”

Derek shoved past his buddy and laid his hand on the doorknob. Looking back he said, “I said you may be right, but we don't know for sure. And we have to be careful, Pete. Hold things down until I get back, okay?”

Peter nodded and slapped his friend on the back. “Stay safe.”

~R~

“Come on, Hollister!”

Derek felt himself being jolted back and forth by a hand, grasping his shoulder. Blinking, he looked up and into the face of Buckeimer. He sat up and looked around, the gentle humming of the small jet's engine catching his attention.

“We are landing in ten minutes and I don't want them seeing you looking like that!”

“Who seeing me? Looking like what?”

“I told you not to ask questions. Just get up and get yourself looking halfway decent.”

Derek stood up and walked to the bathroom where he pulled a comb out of his pocket and proceeded to sweep it through his short, blond hair as he looked in the mirror.

He realized that his hands were shaking as he fastened his top button. Looking back at his reflection he saw that his steel blue eyes were slightly reddened. Was he nervous? What was there to be nervous about? He was just attending the general.

No. No matter how much he lied to himself, or tried to lie to himself, he knew the truth. He didn't know if Peter was right or not, but something was up. Something big. And he was obviously involved. He felt his stomach churn as he stepped back out and took his seat for landing.

Buckeimer began to shoot out words as the plane gently bounced on he ground and gradually came to a stop. “When we get off, I don't want you to say a word more than is absolutely vital. Do you hear me? And do exactly as I say. Follow nobody's orders but my own until I say to. Am I clear, Hollister?”

Derek looked over and nodded at the general. “Very clear, sir.”

“Good. Now, come on.”

The door lowered into stairs and Derek grabbed his duffel bag, following Buckeimer down onto the cement.

Three men wearing black suits and dark sunglasses walked towards them.

Buckeimer waited until one of them approached him, shaking his hand with a little bow. “We are honored that you have responded so quickly, General.”

Derek looked at the speaker and saw the he was not German. His skin was too dark, but he couldn't tell much more because of the sunglasses covering his eyes.

“Just get us somewhere safe, quickly.” Buckeimer replied, turning to shake the hands of the other two men. “We will talk more in the car.”

“Right this way, sir. I will get your bag to ensure the utmost security.”

“Good. Come along, Hollister!”

Derek followed silently behind the four men as they walked towards the black limousine a dozen or so yards away.

One of the dark skinned men opened the door and bowed as the general got in. The two other men were next, then Derek slid into his seat with the last man who held the door, following him and sitting down across from him.

Derek sat with his back to the back window as the general lit a cigar and began puffing smoke into the air.

“You are sure that the car has not been bugged?”

“Completely sure, General.” The apparent leader of the three men said. It was then that Derek was really able to pick up his accent. He'd never heard it before, but it seemed to go well with his dark tan skin.

“Good, then we can get down to business. I have brought the boy, just as you suggested.” Buckeimer motioned towards Derek with a sweep of his hand.

“You believe he is prepared?”

“I don't know. But, he is more prepared than any of my other men. And this mission is long over-due.”

“Are we sure that this is the right time to start things? Are we prepared?” Another of the men said in broken German.

Buckeimer chuckled. “I used to think that we would never be ready for it. And I still think that. But if we are ever going to launch the Fellcamp Mission, it's now or never.”

RESCUE~Chapter 1 (Re-Write)

Okay! So...we are in FL. right now...but I managed to hang out in the van while everyone else was on the horses and I got my first chapter written...finally! Eeeesh, I've been itching, itching to write...feels so good. Not sure how good IT is though. :P We are headed to dinner now and I haven't had time to edit, so this is the 100% rough draft. Please let me know what you think of it all. I'd really appreciate all brutal thoughts. :P And, just so you know, this is the same story as the last version of "Rescue" I posted...I'm just adding way more to it, making it longer, giving more background/detail etc. Here's the first chapter. It's a bit shorter, but I think I work better with short stories.
Oh...and is there enough detail in this chapter? How's the emotion? What do you think of Melody? How about Jason? Is it all too choppy? How is Melody and Jason's relationship now? How does this one compare to the previous first chapter? Seriously...any and all thoughts are sooo welcome. ;)
Thanks SOOO much! :D

~.~.~.~.

Chapter 1

            “Melody, help me! Please!” Screams tore through the air as Samuel screamed for his sister.

            “Samuel!” She shrieked and ran towards the edge the cliff. “Oh, God, please!” Slamming down on her knees, she reached down and latched onto his right hand with both of hers while his left remained grasping the edge of the cliff.

            His arms shook and his knuckles turned white as he tried to keep a hold on the jagged rock.

            Melody sucked in deep breaths to keep herself calm as she pulled up on his hand. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she bit her lip, straining and tugging.

            Samuel's left hand slipped a half inch back. “Pull, Mel.” He groaned, hanging by his fingertips, from which blood began to flow as the rough surface cut into them.

            Sweat trickled down her face as Melody closed her eyes and yanked up. They flew open just in time to see her brother's left hand fly back.

            His weight yanked her down on her chest, knocking her chin against the ground. She screamed as her grasp broke and his hand slid down so that only their fingertips were locked together.

            Melody could feel her fingernails digging into his flesh as he swatted to grab her hand.

            “Sam!” She shrieked, reaching down and grabbing his wrist. She slid forward a foot so that almost her entire torso was in the air.

            “Let go, Mel!”

            “Wha- No!”
            “Melody, we'll both go down if you don't. Just let go!”

            “Sam, please.” She sobbed.

            “Do what I say, Melody,” he grunted.

            “No!”

            Their arms began to sway back and forth as both of their strength grew weaker.

            Melody stared down into the eyes of her brother. Deep green eyes that stared right back into hers. A gust of wind blew her long, red hair back and she shook her head to sweep her bangs out of her eyes.

            “Just hold on, Sam.” She slid another couple of inches forward.

            “I can't Mel.” A tear slipped down his cheek. Then, before she could think to stop him, he twisted his hand out of hers and flew back.

            “Samuel!” Her scream seemed to rip open the sky as she watched his head slam against a rock a few yards down. Blood sprayed as he continued to tumble past the cliff, landing on the ground, far below, where he remained motionless.

            “Mel,” someone whispered in her ear.

            She didn't reply, but kept screaming for her brother as she reached her hands out towards him. “Samuel, please! Don't! No!”

            “Melody, look at me.”

            She stopped crying and her eyes grew wide as she looked up and saw Samuel walking on the air towards her.

            “Sam?”

            “Mel, hey. Come on. It's okay.” His voice sounded different.

            She reached for his hand and he reached for hers.

            Silent tears streamed from her emerald eyes as she watched their fingertips meet, then slide up until their hands were locked in a firm grasp.

            “Sam...”

            “Melody, it's me. Jason. Look at me.”

            She felt her hair being stroked as a gust of wind blew in her face. Everything flashed black, then white.

            She looked around and let out a sob as her gaze landed on the white carpet. She was leaning halfway off the edge of her bed, grasping someone's hand as another brushed her hair out of her face.

            “Mel, look at me.”

            She looked up into the face of her older brother who was leaning down, looking at her with his eyebrows drawn together. His lips were set in a frown and tears welled up in his eyes.

            “Jay?”

            “It's okay. It's okay. You were just remembering again. Everything's okay now.”

            “No it's not!” She screamed, throwing his hand back and sitting up on her bed. “He's dead, Jason! Dead!”

            “He's been gone for over a year, Mel.”

            “So, you think that just because a miserable year has gone by I should be able to forget him?”

            “He was my brother, too, Melody.” Jason straightened up, still looking down at her.

            “You weren't there! You don't know how I-how he-and the blood. His face, smashed. His guts-”

            “I know, I know.” Jason sat down on the bed next to his sister and laid his hand on her shoulder. “I know, Mel. But, you did all you could, okay?”

            “I wish I had died that day!” She screamed. “I wish I would have gone down with him!”

            “Don't talk like that.”

            Melody curled up and hugged her knees, staring into space. “I shouldn't have yanked up.”

            Jason shook his head. “Don't start this again. Don't-”

            “If I hadn't done that, he wouldn't have pulled me down and I could have grabbed his other hand.”

            “Melody, please look at me.” Jason shifted on the bed and leaned down so that she couldn't avoid his gaze.

            “What?”

            “Let's go to town. Call Tracy and let's go watch a movie or something.”

            She shook her head. “I don't want to go anywhere.”

            “You can't keep yourself cooped up in your room all the time. Come on, please?”

            “I can't, Jay.” She sniffed and sat up, blinking as if she'd just woken up and looked around. “What happened?”

            Jason let out a sigh of relief. Mentioning something in their present life didn't always break her out. But it had this time, thankfully.“You were remembering again.”

            “Oh, yeah.” Her voice trailed off. “Samuel.”

            “Hey, let's call Tracy and see if she wants to go watch a movie with us. My treat.”

            Melody shrugged. “I don't hang out with her anymore.”

            “Why not? I thought you were best friends.”

            Melody snorted. “Yeah, like actual friends really exist anymore.”

            Jason bit his lip, letting his gaze fall to the ground. Then he looked at her and smiled. “Well, the truth is I'm glad.”

            “What?” Melody looked up at him in confusion.

            He grinned and stood up. “Because now, I get you all to myself.”

            She smiled a little and shook her head. “Okay, fine.” She stood up then stopped. “Wait.”

            “What?”

            “Where's Dad?”

            Jason shrugged. “He was expecting another business phone call, I think.” 

~R~

               “This is your last warning, Willard! You know what will happen if you don’t deliver.” The heavy accent flowed over the phone.

            “Please, don’t! Just give me a few more months.” Willard's voice shook.

            “Shut up and get it! Or I promise you, you’ll be sorry. But,” there was a chuckle. “Not as sorry as that little daughter of yours.”

            “If you so much as lay a hand on her-”

            “Oh, I won’t. But only as long as you deliver. And not a word of this to anyone or the result will be the same. And I may throw in a bonus for your wife and son. I mean it, Willard.”

            Click.

Okay...

I plan on (re) starting my book, Rescue, sometime today, Lord willing. Got a good bit going on...but I should be able to at least start the first chapter.

Before I do though...were there any last thoughts, ideas or...anything?

I have had a few ideas...some that I think are gonna work out really well if I get them out like I'm thinking.

The main thing I need to know now before I can start is...should Melody and Jason remain brother and sister? Or would it be better for them to be in a "romantic" kind of relationship? If I go the the "romantic route", I'd really work hard to avoid it being a romance. Probably have them as engaged. That seems the safest way, right now. But, I may keep them brother and sister...any thoughts would help that a lot. :)

Thanks a bunch!

... ... ...

Rescue. The book.Oookay. So. Yeah. No new chapters. At all. The start of chapter 4 several times, but not past the first few paragraphs.
This just isn't good and something's sucking the motivation out of me. This just isn't good either. :P
So...IDK what's wrong...but...well, for one, I can't seem to focus on my book when I sit down to write, but I can't focus on much more when I'm not writing. Well...almost. But, here's where I think my issue is. Pacing. As of right now and at the pace I'm going at...in three or four more chapters, my book will be done and I'll have nothing more than a glorified short story. That's really not what I want. I am strongly considering starting the whole book over and trying to pace myself better. Any thoughts on that idea?
And...if I do do that...I'll have a chance to start fresh so I need lotses of honesty here. (Not that I doubt any of you would be anyways...but be open to the idea of being brutally honest here. :P )I'll ask a few questions and would love (horribly, brutally honest, remember) feedback if anyone can spare a few minutes. I just need to know what to keep, what to change, where to change, how to change, who to change...you get the idea, right?
I think I like my plot. It's not some ridiculously large plot like I would like to write one day...but, I do think I like it. It feels solid for the most part and that's rare for me in my writing. So...as far as the plot goes...are you intrigued? And what parts are the ones that grab you and make you want to keep reading?
As far as pacing goes...where do you feel things moving along too quickly? Do you find that they ended up on the island too fast? Do you want more of them before they ever got on the plane? Did they run into trouble too fast?
And...now...I think maybe one of the biggest issues in my book (judging by reactions from readers)...how do I need to change Melody's and Jason's relationship? I know they're way too "wishy washy" and probably don't feel too real. Should I make him someone other than her brother? A best friend or cousin or something? Maybe IDK how to handle the big brother thing and that would help to change they're relation. Thoughts there?
And...are there any parts of the book you like? Parts you want built on?
What is the biggest plus? And what is the biggest minus?
Any other thoughts at all?


Thanks...I know that's a ton...and really...nobody has to answer any of them. But, you're welcome to answer some or all. Any or none...I appreciate anything. :)
I really want to finish this book...but I'm kinda drained on several points of it right now...so...I gotta figure out how to fix it or it'll get put me in more of a fix! :P

Rescue ~ Chapter 3

Well, for better or worse, chapter 3 is done. This chapter feels so scattered. I can't seem to get things together and it feels really forced at times. I'm still working on action...still trying to figure out not writing in first person and a boat load of other stuff. I'd love some help with a few questions if anyone has time. Does this chapter flow right? Does it make sense? Is the action just..."Blah"? Is it holding your attention? At what points does it lose you? What do you think of Jason's and Melody's relationship? Does it just get cheesy at the end of the chapter? And...is it too fast? Do I need more detail between things? And if so...where? And...uhhh...anything else? Thanks. :)

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Chapter 3

            “Jason!” Melody threw herself at her brother as Duerr forced her forward with the butt of his rifle.

            He snatched his arm free from Derek’s grasp, lifted his bound hands and brought his arms down around his sister to wrap her in a hug. Leaning down, he brought his head close to hers and whispered, hardly loud enough for her to hear, “Follow my lead and do exactly as I say.”

            Without giving her another moment to think, Jason lifted his arms from around Melody, shoved her behind him and rammed his elbow into Derek’s gut, sending him doubled over to the ground.

            Duerr screamed a curse and fired several shots in the air as he charged towards them.

            Jason pushed his sister forward screaming, “Melody, run!” And dashed deeper into the woods, Duerr close at their heels.

            “Jason, wait!” Melody shouted, slacking behind him.

            “No, Mel! Come on! We have to run!”

            “I can’t!”

            Jason continued to run and looked back to see her straining for air.

            “Mel, we can’t stop!”

            Melody gritted her teeth and tried to suck in a breath as she continued to run as fast as she could, but she couldn’t keep her feet from dragging and she nearly fell over the thick ground foliage.

            “Come on!” Jason screamed, running back to her and pushing her forward. “Don’t stop, Mel. Don’t stop!”

            Duerr was barely ten yards behind them, gaining on them fast and Melody wondered why he didn’t just shoot them.

            The wheezing returned in Melody’s throat and it took every ounce of will to keep her from collapsing again.

            Jason stayed by her side and kept telling her to run. To keep going. Not to give up.

            She strained to see through the almost completely dark jungle forest as she tumbled and tripped over dips in the earth, fallen tree limbs and the overwhelming ground brush.

            “Come on, Mel. Come on! Just a little farther.”

            She tried to reply and tell him that she wasn’t giving up, but it was all she could do to put one foot in front of the other, let alone try to talk.

            As they ran, she looked back just in time to see Duerr reach out and snatch at her hair as it flew behind her.

            She let out a choked scream and took a sharp turn to the right, tumbling over a log and falling to the other side on her shoulder

            Raising a shaking hand, she reached over the log and pulled herself up, trying to steady herself enough to run, but fell back again and lay on her back, choking for air. She felt her head buzzing and her ears rang as she reached up and rubbed her neck, trying desperately to get air to her burning lungs.

            She expected Duerr to reach out and snatch her up at any moment, but nothing happened. Instead, she heard a crash and a curse from the other side of the log.

            Jason and Duerr must have been fighting hand to hand from the sounds that reached her ears, but she couldn’t focus on that. She couldn’t focus on anything but trying to breathe.

            Gathering up her last ounce of strength, she rolled over on her clasped hands. Pressing her forehead on the ground, she bared down on her hands and pushed so hard that her hands and chest felt bruised. Releasing the last bit of air in her lungs she prepared to take in a deep breath, but she didn’t get the chance.

            Her shirt was grabbed and she was yanked up, causing her to snatch in shallow breath as she was slammed on her feet and forced to look up into the flaming eyes of Duerr.

            A wave of panic surged through her, but she was too weak from the lack of oxygen to do anything but looked around and pray that Jason would save her.

            A hand slammed into the back of Duerr’s neck, forcing him to release Melody who dropped to the ground and curled up, still trying to suck in air.

            She managed to snatch in enough to keep from passing out and looked up to see Jason tumbling with Duerr. He looked so small compared to the giant German. Even though Jason was tall and broad, she hadn’t noticed just how big Duerr was until she saw him next to her brother.

            The men grunted and strained as they rolled over and over on the ground, slamming into trees, rocks and each other.

            Duerr continually muttered what Melody assumed to be cursing, but she couldn’t tell because he was speaking in German.

            Jason raised his right fist and smashed it full into Duerr’s jaw, who returned the blow with one of his own to Jason’s gut.

            Melody watched as Duerr wrapped his arms around Jason’s waste and they began to roll over and over and over until Duerr’s back slammed into a tree. He let out a choked shout and released his grasp on Jason, who took advantage of his opponent’s vulnerable position by jumping up and ramming a foot into his lower ribs.

            Duerr screamed and curled up, hugging his stomach to protect himself from the next blow, but Jason continued to kick. He thrust his foot into Duerr’s hands, then his chest and a final blow to his face stopped any resistance from the German.

            Jason stumbled back, wiping his bleeding nose and breathing heavily.

            “Melody?” He shouted, looking around.

            “I’m here, Jay,” she said, forcing herself to her feet and bending over to lean on her knees.

            He ran over to her and put his hands on her shoulders, leaning down to look at her face. “Are you okay?”

            She nodded and gasped in a breath as tears streamed down her face. “Did you kill him?”

            “No.” Jason looked back where Duerr still lay against the tree. “He’ll probably wake up and go back to wherever he came from.”

            “Where did he come from?” Melody asked, straightening up and wiping her face with the back of her hand.

            Jason drew his eyebrows together and stared at the ground.

            “Jason?”

            “I don’t know.” He shook his head.

            “Where are we?” Melody hugged herself as a cold breeze blew through the woods.

            Jason shook his head again. “I don’t know, Mel. I know just as much as you do.”

            Melody shifted and took a step back.

            “What’s wrong? What is it?” Jason squinted to look at her.

            She looked up at him and let out a sob.

            “Melody, what’s wrong?”

            She sucked in a long, deep breath and squinted as pain shot through her lungs and up her throat. “Nothing,” she said, walking back to him and putting her arms around his waste. “I’m just scared.”

            “I know.” He wrapped her in a hug and kissed the top of her head. “But, we’re going to be okay, Mel. We survived that plane wreck. God saved us and there has to be a reason.”

            Melody shook in her head and buried her face in Jason’s chest. “Yeah, so that we can die out in the middle of some tropical jungle thousands of miles of home.”

            Jason pushed out and held onto her shoulders, looking down at her. “Don’t talk like that, do you hear me? That’s absolute garbage. We are not going to die out here. You can’t think like that.”

            “What good is wishful thinking going to do us, Jason?” She shouted. “Look around! Do you see any way out? Stop being so ridiculous and get real, here!”

            “Okay,” Jason let out a long breath and close his eyes, then opened them and looked back down at her. “First of all, calm down. You get too worked up too fast. Second of all, I’m not your enemy here, Mel. Okay? I just don’t want you to give up before we’ve even tried. You’ve got to hold on and hope.”

            “Hope? In what?”

            “Melody, I’m not going to play this game with you. You know what and-”

            A shriek rang through the air from near by.

            “What was that?” Melody forced herself into Jason’s arms again and squeezed his waste.

            “We’ve got to get somewhere safe,” he said. “Come on.”

            Melody grabbed his hand as they began to trot through the trees. They ran over thick brush, around trees, through vines and under low branches.

            The longer they ran, the harder it was for Melody to keep up. As their pace slacked to a quick walk, Melody stopped and said, “Jason.”

            He stopped and looked back at her. “What?”

            “Where are we going?”

            He shook his head and sucked in a deep breath. “I’m trying to find the shore. It seems like that would be the safest place and maybe there will be a boat or something. Do you know which way it is?”

            “Don’t you?” Melody asked, looking up at the treetops.

            “No, I was knocked out in the plane and guess I was dragged into the woods. I didn’t see anything.” He closed his eyes and squeezed them shut, grunting. Then he stumbled back and caught himself from falling.

            “What’s wrong?” Melody ran to him.

            He shook his head. “Nothing. Guess I’m just bruised up from the fight.”

            “Do you need to sit down? What’s hurts? Are you okay? Here.” She tried to get him to sit down, but he pulled back.

            “I’m okay, Mel.”

            “Stop trying to be so brave, Jay. You don’t have to do that, okay?”

            “I said, I’m fine. Come on, let’s keep going.”

            Melody stepped closer to him and looked up into his eyes. Even in the dark she could see the light in them. The determination. The strength.

            “Come on,” she almost sobbed. “Please, let’s just rest tonight. We can’t go on all night. We can’t even see anything. We could be going in the completely wrong direction right now.”

            “We can’t stop at night. If this is really a jungle, night is the most dangerous time to be out.”

            “Then let’s climb a tree or something. You’ve got to rest, Jay. You’re beat up and I’m exhausted. I thought asthma was bad at home but, that’s nothing compared to out here. But, you’re hurt and need rest. If we need to keep watch, I can stay awake while you try to sleep or-”

            “You’re trying so hard, aren’t you?” Jason looked down at his sister and smiled.

            “For what?”

            “Not to get down.”

            She shrugged and kicked at the ground. “Not really.”

            He pushed her matted and dirty hair out of her eyes and lifted her chin with his finger. “Okay, we’ll try to climb a tree and see if we can get some rest.”

            As Jason looked around for a good climbing tree, Melody sat down and looked around.

            What were they supposed to do? Yeah, they’d survive the night, probably. But, what about the next day? What were they even doing there? Melody feared that she knew the answer, but she wouldn’t even allow herself to think it. That couldn’t be it. And whatever happened, she couldn’t let Jason know that she knew anything. She’d tried twice before to tell him, but now she was glad he’d stopped her. She thought she had to have been wrong, but when she heard Duerr’s German accent, she knew that he must be related to the organization who wanted that black box. Whoever they were.

            “Here, Mel!” Jason called. “Come over here, I think I found one.”

            Melody rose and walked over to where her brother stood next to a tree, grasping a vine.

            Jason helped her mount a low branch and handed her the vine. “Be careful.”

            Melody laughed. “Jason, I’ve been climbing trees since I could walk.”

            “I know,” Jason chuckled. “But, you just-I mean-”

            “Jay, I’m fine, okay?”

            “Yeah.” He nodded and looked up at her. “Just-you-”

            Melody got down off her branch and looked up at her brother. His eyes were overflowing with that look that he’d had for her ever since she was little. That look that made him look more like her father than brother. The look that said he’d die before he’d let so much as a mosquito land on her.

            “Jay, I’m fine, okay?” She repeated smiling at him. “I’m going to be fine. You’re going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine.”

            He didn’t reply, but just stared down at her, his gaze unmoved.

            Melody took his hand in both of hers. “At least that’s what my big brother told me.”

            Jason grinned and sighed. He pulled her into a hug and held her for a minute before letting her go and motioning to the tree. “Come on, kiddo, time for bed. I’ll tuck you in for old time’s sake. How that?”

            She nodded with a smile and let him help her back up the tree. He followed and helped her find a branch then tie herself to the tree with a vine.

            “You’ll be safe for the night, okay? I’ll be on the next branch.” He made a final tug on the vine, tightening the intricate knot.

            “Where’d you learn all of this?”

            “I finished Eagle Scouts, remember?” He chuckled, shifting to get a better grasp with his legs around the branch he was sitting on. “Now, get to sleep, Kiddo.”

            “Night, Jay.” Melody smiled and leaned her head against the tree as Jason climbed over to his branch. The smile faded from her face as his soon as he had turned. This was going to be a long night. And now she was almost sure that it was her fault. Almost sure.

Rescue ~ Chapter 2

This chapter felt really muddled to me. IDK. What do you think? Is it clear? Does it seem realistic? And how are Melody's reactions to everything?

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Chapter 2

            Jason rushed to his sister’s side and pushed his head next to hers to look out the window.

            “Jason, we’re crashing!” Melody screamed, pressing her hands against the window. “Oh, God help us, please!”

            “Melody, look at me.” Jason soothed.

            She pressed her face against the window, sobbing hysterically.

            “Melody, look at me!” Jason grabbed her head in both of his hands and made her face him.

            “I knew this would happen! I knew-”

            Jason brought his hand to her mouth. “Don’t talk like that. This is just-”

            “No! You don’t understand, Jay! Listen to me! I-”

            “Melody, don’t talk.” He shook his head. “Don’t talk.”

            Screams rose from all around them. The woman with the two year old sat in her seat rocking the child back in forth as she shrieked and her husband wrapped them both in his arms and tried to calm them. Others were in similar situations. Some cried, some screamed, while others just sat and stared.

“Melody, listen to me. It’s going to be okay. We’ll always be okay, remember? You know we’re always safe, right? Aren’t we always safe with Christ?”

            Melody nodded as she choked on sobs, but she calmed down.

            “That’s my girl.” Jason raised his hand to push the golden hair out of her face. She noticed his hand was shaking almost uncontrollably.

            “You’re scared.” She said, taking his hand.

            “It’s just another step into life, right?” He said.

            Melody drew her eyebrows together, but she didn’t sob anymore. Silent, hot tears streamed down her cheeks as she gazed into her brother’s eyes. His whole body was shaking, but his eyes remained steady.

            Jason looked out the window and knew that there wasn't much time left. The ground got closer with each moment that passed.

            “Mel,” he said looking back at her. “I want you to close your eyes and don’t open them again until…well, when you open them again…”

            “Don’t say it, Jay. I know. I know.” She looked back out the window then threw her arms around his neck and closed her eyes. “I love you, Jason.”

            Jason wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly as he closed his own eyes. “I love you too, baby.”

            As shouts continued to fill the air, Melody squeezed her brother as hard as she could and tried to steady her breathing. She raised a prayer for her mother and father and then buried her face on Jason’s shoulder, trying to be as prepared as she could be.

            A hand landed on her shoulder and she was jerked back, out of Jason’s grasp. She shrieked and clawed for her brother, who ran after them as her kidnapper dashed towards the front of the plane, practically dragging Melody behind him. He had a ski mask over his head so she couldn’t see his face, but she recognized his voice as he shouted for people to move. It was the same voice that had come over the speakers a few minutes before when the plane was hijacked.

            Melody scratched at his thick arm and screamed at him as they approached the door of the airplane near the front where another masked man stood. “Not without, Jason!”           

“Shut up!” The man shouted in his thick German accent.

            “No!” Melody thrust her foot into her captor’s shin as hard as she could.

            He stumbled, then turned and backhanded her across the face. She tasted blood as it filled her mouth and a stream of it tricked down her chin.

            “Not without my brother!” She shrieked, lurching back for Jason as he snatched at her hand.

            She was yanked back and the man turned to his masked comrade, shouting, “Grab the boy!”

            “What?”

            “I said, grab him! Now!”

            A sack was shoved over Melody’s head, forcing her into darkness. She heard Jason shouting and then a thud just before she felt herself being pinned against someone’s body and then the floor was out from under her.

            Wind smacked at the cloth sack over her head as she flew through the air, still being held tightly in a pair of strong arms. She tried to scream, but the speed at which they were falling was too great and she could barely snatch in a breath.

            There was a splashing sound just before she felt herself engulfed in water and was freed from the grasp of her captor. 

            Panic surged through her body as she fought to remove the sack from her head, but she was grabbed again and felt herself being dragged upwards. The sack was ripped off of her head just before she bobbed to the surface of the water and snatched in a labored breath. In a glance she saw that she was in the ocean. 

            Twisting around, she saw that the same man who had jumped from the plane with her was holding her, but his mask was gone, revealing his face of sharp features and a head full of blond hair.

            “Where’s Jason!” She screamed, searching for him.

            A loud whistling sound rang in the air and she watched as the plane continued to speed downwards, then smash into the water in the distance, disappearing completely within a matter of seconds.

            She let out a scream as she found herself being dragged through the water.

            “Where’s my brother?” She shrieked again, smacking at the man who held her in his iron clutches. She kicked and punched and tried to free herself, but he was too strong and squeezed her around the waste so tightly that she strained to breathe and became lightheaded.

            “Jason!” She called, looking around. “Jason!”

            “Shut up!” The man snapped, as he treaded water with seemingly little difficulty.

            “Where is he?” Melody gasped out, her strength weakening.

            “Over there.”

            “Where?” She glanced side to side several times, then turned her head to look in front of them and saw the other man who had been in the plane, dragging a limp form behind him.

            “Jason!” She shouted.           

            “Shut up!” The man snapped again.

            She twisted around to watch her brother and saw that he was being dragged onto land. How had she missed it before? There was only a narrow shore before it became a thick wooded mass as far as the eye could see. It looked like a jungle, but that was impossible. There were no jungles in this part of the world. But, then again, how did she know where on earth they were?

            As they approached the land, she could hear her captor’s breathing getting shallower and more strenuous. His arm that held her around the waste shook and they’re pace slackened. He was growing tired. Maybe this could be her chance.

            She waited until she could feel sand under her feet, then she sucked in a deep breath and swung her fist around, landing it in the man’s eye. He let out a scream and reached up to pull her hand away, but she raised her other and smashed it into his stomach. He released his hold on her and she kicked at him with both of her feet as she began to swim to the shore.

            She cried out and swam after her, gaining on her quickly. She had never been a very swimmer, but she could almost run now that the water was getting more and more shallow.

            She reached the shore and scrambled to her feet, barely stopping to breathe before she charged towards the woods. As she ran, she looked around for Jason and the other man, but she didn’t see either of them and continued until she was in the woods where she stopped.

            The cries of her captor could be heard not far behind her. She tried to gasp in breaths, but her lungs felt heavy and she couldn’t get a deep breath in. She felt the air growing thicker and she heard the familiar wheezing sound coming from her throat.

            “No,” she gasped. “Not asthma now. Please.”

            Her legs shook as she tried to keep her eyes open. Her heart beat hard in her chest as her head started spinning.

            “Melody.” She didn’t recognize the voice and couldn’t keep her eyes open enough to see who was speaking.

            Her lack of oxygen from the asthma attack caused everything to go blurry and her knees shook. She couldn’t support her weight anymore and collapsed on the ground.

            She lay there, trying desperately so snatch in air, but couldn’t even think enough to focus on breathing so she let out a long breath, and then stopped trying to breathe completely.           

            She felt herself being lifted and carried along. She told her to try to get a breath in, but her mind was so weak that it was easier to try to live without it. She closed her eyes and let herself go limp, but not unconscious.

            “Melody, wake up.”

            She opened her eyes and looked up to see another man that she didn’t recognize, carrying her and speaking to her. It had been nearly a full minute since she had taken in a breath, but couldn’t even try in the position she was being carried. In a desperate effort she slammed her hand into his chest and pushed herself out of his arms so that she fell to the ground.

            The man knelt down beside her and tried to pick her back up, but she shoved him away and put her fists in a ball, then laid her chest down on top of them, pushing down until she could snatch in a breath.

            She rolled over and laid on her back, gasping in air and forcing oxygen back through her system.

            “Are you okay?” The man asked, bending over her.

            “Where-” she breathed out. “Where’s Jas-Jason?”

            “Out cold. Are you okay?”

             She sucked in a few more shallow breaths, then raised herself on her hands and looked around to see that she was definitely in some kind of a jungle. But, she didn’t see her brother anywhere. “Where is he?”

            “He’s safe. I’ll go back and get him now, if you’re sure you’re okay.”

            “Who are you?” She looked up into the young man’s face. She hadn’t noticed how young he was until now. He couldn’t be more than a year or two older than herself. His eyes were almost black and his hair was sandy brown, curly and hanging in his eyes.

            “My name is Derek, but we don’t have time for more right now. Here.” He helped her stand up and pulled her to a large tree. “Can you climb?”

            “What?”

            “Can you climb a tree? Look,” he yanked a thick vine down. “Use this and try pull yourself up. Sit up there until I get back. Don’t move until then, do you hear me?”

            “Who the heck are you? And why should I listen to you?”

            “Do you want to get out of here and see your brother again?”

            Melody just stared at him as she pressed her hands in the middle of her chest, trying to open up her lungs more and breathe deeper.

            “Just do it and wait for me.” Derek paused. “What other choice do you have right now?”

            Melody opened her mouth to reply, but stopped. He was right.

            “Okay,” she said.

            He turned to leave, but turned back around and looked at her. “You’re not going to do that again, are you?”

            “Do what?” She said, looking back as she grasped the vine and rested one foot on the trunk.

            “That breathing thing.”

            “It was an asthma attack. And no, I’m fine now.”

            “Okay, wait here.”

            And wait she did. Once she had pulled herself up into the tree, she sat for hours, waiting for Derek and her brother. But they didn’t come.

            She looked up and tried to see the sky, but it was blocked by the thick treetops all around. The humidity was intense and caused her breathing to become labored again, but she was able to relax and avoided another attack.

            She distracted herself from the panic that kept trying to overtake her by focusing on breathing. It was becoming more and more difficult again, but she set her mind on it and managed to keep from getting to light headed again.

            Melody waited and waited, she knew not how many hours, but the already dim forest grew to almost completely dark as she sat in the tree.

            The longer she waited the harder it was to keep her mind calm. Where was she? Where was Jason? She supposed everyone in the plane had died. That mother and her baby. All those people, dead. Why? What had they done? And why was she alive? Had their mother heard of the crash? Did she think they were dead, too? She wished she could call her and tell her that she was okay. But, that wouldn’t do any good. How did she know how much longer she would be okay for? And what about Jason? Where was he? Where was that Derek. She knew she shouldn’t have trusted him.

            The questions swelled in her mind until she couldn’t take it. She hadn’t noticed until now that she was nearly hyperventilating from the stress and that her heart was pounding hard and fast, threatening another one of her panic attacks. She had to move or she would have a full blown attack and she never knew  what that could mean.

            She grabbed onto her vine and swung her legs down so that she could slide down it, but her hands were shaking and she slid only a few yards before losing her grasp and crashing to the ground.

            She lay on her back for a minutes before sitting up and shaking her head, to try and clear it.

            Glancing around she wondered if she should try calling for Jason.

            She stood up and looked into the woods, straining to focus.

            Suddenly, a light shining in her eyes blinded her and she raised her hand to block it.

            “Over here, Duerr!”

            The man who had jumped from the plane with her, who’s name was apparently Duerr, emerged from the shadows and laid a hand on her shoulder.

            “Thought you got a way, eh?” Then he turned and called over his shoulder, “Good work Patterson! You got them both. Dietrich will be pleased with you. Not bad for an American!”

            Melody looked behind Duerr to see Derek standing there, holding onto one of Jason’s arms. Her brother’s hands were bound together with rope, but she couldn’t see if he was hurt or not in the darkness.

            “Come on.” Duerr shoved her forward. “We’re taking you to see Dietrich.”