Monday, October 22, 2012

RESCUE~Chapter 2

Well, I have just given into the fact that this book is going to come slowly. But, for me, that's a good thing. Because, I've noticed that I really tend to rush my work wayyyy to fast and that makes for pathetic books. So...I'm slowing down. I think that most of my chapters will be "short-ish", but I don't see that as a major problem if they work. Felt so good to get to write today. :D
How is the flow in this chapter? Is the pacing slowed down enough? Are you intrigued? And does it make sense?
Oh! And I found pictures of all three of my main characters! :D I may post those later if y'all are interested.
Oh...and apparently I have a new character. I say "apparently" because I had not planned for this dude at all. Have no idea where he came from, but he's insisting he stays. So, I just need to find him a last name and a face. I'm actually pretty glad that he popped up when he did. He may just be the element that I knew my story needed. Kinda  a lighter element to keep things from getting just too depressing. :P
Anyways...I'd really appreciate any and all thoughts. On this chapter and how it's working with the rest of the book so far. Thanks so much! :)
(Errr...I can't get the formatting on blogger to let me indent the paragraphs >.<)

~.~.~.~.




Chapter 2




“Hollister!” The German accent rippled through the air from an old, heavyset man lounging in his desk chair. “Where is that boy?”
A man in his mid-twenties, wearing a uniform that resembled that of the German military, ran into the room and skidded to a stop, bowing low, then stood at attention. “Yes, Heir Buckeimer.”
He sat up and leaned forward. “Why are you never here when I need you? I am leaving for a meeting in Berlin in twenty minutes and I am forced to take you with me.”
“A meeting?”
“Don't ask questions, just follow and do as I say!”
Hollister bowed again and said, “What would you have me do, sir?”
“Whatever I say to do, dumcoff! Get my briefcase from the cabinet and bring it here, then go get yourself some clothes packed. We will be gone over the whole of this week.”
“Yes, sir.” Bowing one last time, Hollister turned to leave the room.
“And, boy!” The old German's voice shot towards him.
Hollister turned and looked back. “Sir?”
“Not a word of this to anyone. This meeting is top secret and I will have you shot if anyone but you and me in this compound know about it. As a matter of fact, I will shoot you myself. Understood?”
Hollister hesitated, then nodded. “Understood, Heir Buckeimer.” He turned again and went out of the room, towards his quarters.
Stepping into his room, he reached to the right and flipped the light switch on to illuminate the room with a soft, yellow light. He went over to his closet and pulled out a duffel bag before turning and proceeding to pull different articles of clothing out of his dresser drawers.
His thoughts raced as he tried to imagine what this meeting could be about and why Buckeimer had chosen to take him instead of his regular attendant, Mueller. Why would there even have to be a top secret meeting? Germany was at peace. At least, as at peace as it always had been since Hollister could remember. And what part would he have in it? Maybe Mueller was sick and he was just the most available man. But, no...that couldn't be it. He hadn't been raised to just be a general's attendant. He knew things. More than most of the men in the compound.
The door opened behind him and he turned to see his room-mate standing there, staring down at him. “Where are you going, Derek?”
He shrugged and placed a shirt into the bag. “Just on a trip.”
“But, where? I never heard of any trip. Are you going alone?”
“I can' talk about it, Peter.”
Peter sat down on the bed and raised his cigarette to his mouth. “Why on earth not?”
“I have orders. It's top secret and I'm not to talk about it to anyone.”
His friend jumped up, nearly knocking the pile of clothes on the bed over. “You don't think this could have anything to do with Fellcamp Mission, do you?”
Derek stopped folding the shirt he was holding and looked up. “I-I don't know. I wasn't told anything.”
“It must be, Derek! It must be! And that is why they are choosing you to go. That's why they have been putting you through so much special training and...”
“Lower your voice!” Derek hissed, jumping up and slamming the door shut. “You're not supposed to know any of this. You'll get us both in trouble if anyone knows what I've told you.”
“Alright, alright. Yes, I'm sorry. But, think about it. And after the conversation I over-heard last week...it must be a Code Blue being called.”
“You don't even know where I'm going. And-wait, what phone call did you overhear?”
“It was Buckeimer talking to the American doctor.”
“Willard?”
“Yes, Willard.”
“How did you hear it?” Derek forgot about his packing and stared at his friend.
“How I heard it is irrelevant and what you don't know can't hurt you.”
Derek shook his head and crossed his arms. “Have it your way. But, tell me what was said.”
“Well, I could only hear the General's side, but it sounded like he was really hammering Willard for the package.”
“What package?”
Peter shrugged. “I don't know what's in the package, but it must be important because he was threatening the lives of Willard's entire family.”
Derek took a deep breath, then went back to his clothes and continued folding them. “Even supposing all that you say is true, this doesn't necessarily mean that they are launching the Fellcamp Mission.”
“What else could it mean?” Peter nearly shouted.
“I-I don't know.. But, we can't assume anything and we especially can't let Buckeimer know what pieces we put together. He has executed men for less.”
“Right.” Peter nodded and crammed his cigarette into an ashtray on the nightstand next to him. “How long will you be gone?”
“I'm not supposed to-”
“Oh, can it, Derek.” Peter snorted. “You've told me way more than that before.”
“He said he'd personally shoot me if I told anyone anything.”
Peter whistled and grinned. “That confirms everything in my mind.”
“What? Because Buckeimer would shoot someone? We've seen him shoot nearly half a dozen men before. Why would one more be such a big deal?”
“Not just that he would shoot one more man, Derek. That he would shoot you.
Derek looked up and raised an eyebrow as he he zipped the duffel closed.
“They have been putting you through more special training than all the rest of us combined. There has to be a reason. And a big one. They obviously have a plan for you and so for Bucky to say he'd just shoot you...that's got to mean something substantial.”
Derek stood up, slinging the bag over his shoulder and looked at his friend. “Peter, listen. You may be right.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Okay,” Derek sighed. “You're probably right. But, if you are, that means that we have to be more careful now than we ever have been. Only a handful of us even know about the mission and why we are all here.”
Peter nodded and tried to look serious, but couldn't hide the twinkle in his young eyes. “Just think, Derek. What we have been waiting for our entire lives may be starting to finally happen.”
“I don't know, Peter. And I don't know if I'm ready for that to happen. We know more than most, but we still don't know everything. Something about it isn't right.”
“Lighten up! You're probably their secret weapon! I mean, why else would they be taking you or put you through all that training?”
Derek shoved past his buddy and laid his hand on the doorknob. Looking back he said, “I said you may be right, but we don't know for sure. And we have to be careful, Pete. Hold things down until I get back, okay?”
Peter nodded and slapped his friend on the back. “Stay safe.”

~R~

“Come on, Hollister!”
Derek felt himself being jolted back and forth by a hand, grasping his shoulder. Blinking, he looked up and into the face of Buckeimer. He sat up and looked around, the gentle humming of the small jet's engine catching his attention.
“We are landing in ten minutes and I don't want them seeing you looking like that!”
“Who seeing me? Looking like what?”
“I told you not to ask questions. Just get up and get yourself looking halfway decent.”
Derek stood up and walked to the bathroom where he pulled a comb out of his pocket and proceeded to sweep it through his short, blond hair as he looked in the mirror.
He realized that his hands were shaking as he fastened his top button. Looking back at his reflection he saw that his steel blue eyes were slightly reddened. Was he nervous? What was there to be nervous about? He was just attending the general.
No. No matter how much he lied to himself, or tried to lie to himself, he knew the truth. He didn't know if Peter was right or not, but something was up. Something big. And he was obviously involved. He felt his stomach churn as he stepped back out and took his seat for landing.
Buckeimer began to shoot out words as the plane gently bounced on he ground and gradually came to a stop. “When we get off, I don't want you to say a word more than is absolutely vital. Do you hear me? And do exactly as I say. Follow nobody's orders but my own until I say to. Am I clear, Hollister?”
Derek looked over and nodded at the general. “Very clear, sir.”
“Good. Now, come on.”
The door lowered into stairs and Derek grabbed his duffel bag, following Buckeimer down onto the cement.
Three men wearing black suits and dark sunglasses walked towards them.
Buckeimer waited until one of them approached him, shaking his hand with a little bow. “We are honored that you have responded so quickly, General.”
Derek looked at the speaker and saw the he was not German. His skin was too dark, but he couldn't tell much more because of the sunglasses covering his eyes.
“Just get us somewhere safe, quickly.” Buckeimer replied, turning to shake the hands of the other two men. “We will talk more in the car.”
“Right this way, sir. I will get your bag to ensure the utmost security.”
“Good. Come along, Hollister!”
Derek followed silently behind the four men as they walked towards the black limousine a dozen or so yards away.
One of the dark skinned men opened the door and bowed as the general got in. The two other men were next, then Derek slid into his seat with the last man who held the door, following him and sitting down across from him.
Derek sat with his back to the back window as the general lit a cigar and began puffing smoke into the air.
“You are sure that the car has not been bugged?”
“Completely sure, General.” The apparent leader of the three men said. It was then that Derek was really able to pick up his accent. He'd never heard it before, but it seemed to go well with his dark tan skin.
“Good, then we can get down to business. I have brought the boy, just as you suggested.” Buckeimer motioned towards Derek with a sweep of his hand.
“You believe he is prepared?”
“I don't know. But, he is more prepared than any of my other men. And this mission is long over-due.”
“Are we sure that this is the right time to start things? Are we prepared?” Another of the men said in broken German.
Buckeimer chuckled. “I used to think that we would never be ready for it. And I still think that. But if we are ever going to launch the Fellcamp Mission, it's now or never.”





15 comments:

  1. Gah! Finally! I was just checking this blog with the thought to leave a sarcastic, childish comment about how long it's been since chapter 1 was posted.

    You are redeemed.

    This time.

    But alas! It's supper time. Sheesh. I'll have to return to this later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Finally? I've been doing /other/ stuff. :P
      And I was going to leave a sarcastic comment on Ian Steele's blog about how talkative he is...posting three chapters in one day. That's just ridiculous and I am so jealous!!! Gah, yourself.

      Redeemed? I knew that.

      Yes, yes...go eat. Then come tear my book apart. You'll have more energy for it with a full stomach. :P

      P.S. I kinda stole your formatting with my character's pictures... *cough* sorry?

      Delete
    2. Other stuff...hmm...

      Well, nobody said anything about tearing anything up.

      You what? Well, first of all, you're not sorry and you know it. Secondly, why should you? I'm thrilled to be imitated. Neither of those questions really bear consequence, however. The only one that does is...where are the pictures?

      Delete
    3. Yeah, apparently it's going around.

      Ooooh...well...would you please tear it up for me? I'd be most obliged.

      Haha...okay. Thanks. :P They're in my documents, of course. Where do you /think/ they are?

      Delete
    4. Well I was hoping we'd get to see them.

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    5. Well, I posted them. :) Thanks for the interest. :)

      Delete
  2. Oooh, this is cool. I like Derek already -- I presume he's the character that won't leave? And please post pictures! I'm super excited to see what everyone looks like.

    I personally still feel like it should be longer - but you said this is going to be a shorter book, so that's cool too. :) For the length, the flow is really good. I like Derek (I have two characters with that name!) and Peter a lot..and I don't like the general. :P

    Any idea when we should expect chapter three?

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    Replies
    1. Actually...Derek was planned...Peter is the new character that won't leave.

      Hmmm, okay. I'll do that. :) Actually...I was saying I work better with shorter chapters. I plan on this being a full length novel. I think a lot of my editing will be adding.

      No, sadly...no idea at all. I would write allll day eeevery single dawgon day of my life. But...well...I kinda have to do other things. :P I stay so busy that it's really hard to find time to write. But! I will get it up as soon as possible. :)

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  3. Hmm... I don't have much to say except (copying Eli here) I was going to leave a comment about the time elapsing between chapters one and two. :)

    But I guess I have no room to talk because I haven't written anything in my book for... a long time. :D

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much, Erin! Haha... I know I am slow about writing. Wish so much that I had more time for it lol. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. :)

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  4. Certainly plenty of intrigue here. Questions. Plenty of questions. Also, the pacing is much improved, I think. It just works better and flows more smoothly. Not so rushed. I also think it makes as much sense as you intended, at this point. Of course there are questions, but good questions so it works just fine. Really, I have no complaints other than there are a few awkward places where it reads funny, but that's mostly just minor structural stuff that's pretty insignificant.

    This works. At this point I'm thinking that Hollister (it seems that I had a character named Hollister but I just can't remember who he was) is a good guy. And I'm hoping Peter comes back.

    Great work, Anna. :)

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    Replies
    1. ...so...it works? :D Hehe...yay! That kinda makes me happy. :P This chapter kinda came out of nowhere and it got me excited about my book again. So...yeah...I'm glad it works.
      Would you mind pointing out where it reads awkwardly?
      I think you had s crafted named Hollis...that sounds tight for some reason...idk. There r still some characters of yours that I don't know.
      Oh yes...peter comes back. And Hollister is actually the Derek from the last book. Just making him a much bigger character. Thnx so much for reading. I really appreciate it a lot. :)

      Delete
    2. Uh, yes. :P It works well, I think. Of course I don't know where you're going, but I like this. :)
      Sure. I'll have to read it again.
      Keith Hollis was a guy in Target, but I changed his name to Meriwether. Hollister...still can't remember who that was. There are a ton of characters you don't know about, actually.
      Of course. :)

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    3. Okay, awesome. Thanks. :) Hope it stays that way. :P
      Okay...you don't have to if you don't remember where they are. Only if you wanted to...but seriously...you don't have to do that.

      Hmmm...was he in Compensate? Oh, really? Cool. :P

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