This is the third chapter, of course, and at this point in the last version I was about half way through the book. :P So, hopefully this works better.
Questions! How are the chasing scenes (both car and on foot)? How's Melody and Jason's conversation in the truck? How's...uh...everything? Does it make sense? How's the flow? Too short?
What do you think of Melody right now? Is she too...wishy-washy?
Thanks a bunch! :D (Again...dawgon formatting won't let me indent the paragraphs. :/ )
~.~.~.~.
Chapter 3
Martin
Willard waited a moment before slowly pulling the phone away from his
ear. His heart rate accelerated as he sucked in a few shallow breaths
and mechanically set the phone down on the receiver.
Too
many thoughts to process fully raced through his mind. His family.
His job. His life. Then, his country. The well-being of the entire
nation had just been thrown on his shoulders. No, not just their
well-being; their survival.
If he
didn't do what Buckeimer was demanding, his family would be
slaughtered in cold blood. But, if he did do it, he would be
destroying millions of lives.
No, he
didn't like the president, the government or almost anything that
came from Washington, but this was more than that. This was more than
just a political agenda now. This was even more than just a war.
He
tried to steady his heart-rate and his mind, but both were
overpowering him. He coughed and reached for his stress pills, then
pored two of them into his shaking hand and cramming them into his
mouth, choking them down without water.
He had
to think. He needed time to think. But it was clear that time was
out.
He
took a deep breath before picking the phone back out and punching in
a series of numbers, and raising it to his ear. It rang on the other
end only twice before a deep voice came through.
“Merlin.”
“John,
it's Martin. Get the jet ready. We'll leave tomorrow night.”
~R~
Melody sat in silence as
she rode in the passenger seat of the over-sized Dodge truck and
Jason bobbed his head to the country music he was blaring over the
radio.
She stared out the window
and tried to ignore the churning of her stomach and the tears that
continued to well up in her eyes. Every time she blinked, Samuel's
face flashed in her mind for a split second. He was smiling at her
with those twinkling, blue eyes. She'd never met anyone with eyes the
same color as his. They were almost silver.
Jason's frog like voice
boomed louder than the radio as the chorus to his favorite song
played over the speakers, “When your heart won't tell your mind to
tell your mouth what it should say!”
Melody reached over and
punched the off button, killing the sound of the music and cutting
Jason off in the second verse.
He looked over at her and
raised his eyebrows. “You okay?”
She shrugged. “Sorry.”
He shifted slightly, then
smiled at her and said, “Let's try to think about the right things,
okay?”
She tried to smile back,
but she couldn't swallow the lump down in her throat and a tear
spilled out of her eye and rolled down her cheek. “I'm sorry,
Jason. I want to and I really am trying. But, I can't seem to escape
the memories. And every time it happens, I can't get out of it for
the rest of the week.”
Jason sighed as he slowed
down at a red light and a few raindrops fell onto the windshield. “I
know.” He nodded.
There was a pause as he sat
back and Melody shifted in her seat.
“I thought it was getting
better,” he said.
“It was. I mean, it has
been. This was the first time in almost two months. But, it was worse
this time. I could see every detail again. I could feel everything. I
mean, I was leaning over my bed like it was the cliff, for crying out
loud.”
“I know, I know.” He
nodded again with another sigh. “I know. What do you want me to
do?”
Melody shook her head. “I
don't want it to be like this! Nobody should have to do anything. I
should be able to stop this. Just, ignore it. Fight it harder or
something. I should be stronger than this. I've got to be stronger
than this. I don't want to be the kind of girl that is always needing
help. I want to help other people, not just be a burden on their
backs to carry in the name of love!”
Jason turned his head back
to the road as the light switched to green and they began to move
again. He tapped on the steering wheel with his thumb and leaned
forward, setting his gaze ahead. “You're not like that, Mel. Okay?
You're not. But, as long as you hold to that belief, you'll be a
slave to it. You've got to start thinking right. Think positively;
think on the good things. Where is it in the Bible that it says to
dwell on...” he squinted his eyes for a moment, then opened them.
“Oh, I can't remember how it all went, but it talks about dwelling
on whatever is good. You think too much about things, then you get
mad at yourself for thinking too much about things then you...”
“Jay, please. I'm trying,
okay?” Melody laid her head against the headrest and sighed. “I'm
trying.”
She looked ahead at the
rundown road and saw a car flying towards them at a ridiculous speed
for that road. “Jay, look.” She pointed at it.
“It's fine. People speed
on these roads all the time. And don't change the subject yet...I'm
just saying that life is just now starting for you. Well, for both of
us actually. And there's going to be stuff we'll have to face. You
just...you have to stop looking at life so negatively.”
“So, you're telling me I
need to be stronger than I am?” She looked nervously towards the
car again as it continued to speed towards them.
He shook his head as the
rough pavement leveled into an old dirt road. “I'm saying that
you'll never be the kind of person you should be, never be strong
enough if you don't start changing the way you think. I mean, I want
to help you. And you...”
“Look out!” Melody
shrieked, slamming her feet on the floor and latching onto the door
handle.
Jason swerved to the right
as the dark blue mini-van jerked into their lane and sped towards
them, head on. “What they heck are they doing?” He shouted.
The van missed them, but as
Melody looked in the rear-view mirror, she saw that they had spun
around and were speeding towards them at what must have been more
than seventy miles an hour. “Jay, they're trying to hit us!”
The rest of the country
road was deserted, so Jason pressed harder on the gas and picked up
speed.
Melody looked over and saw
that the speedometer was reading sixty and she sat back, gripping the
sides of her seat as the needle continued to climb. “Jason, slow
down! Maybe they just need...”
Her sentence was cut short
by a jolt as the van rammed into their bumper.
“What the heck?” Jason
pressed the gas more and yanked the steering wheel to the right to
turn down another road.
“What are you doing?”
Melody screamed. “This road goes to the river!”
She looked over and saw the
blood drain from Jason's face as he glanced in the rear-view mirror.
“Duck!” He shouted,
reaching over and pushing her head down.
The sound of gunshots rang
in the air as three bullets tore through the back window and whistled
past Melody's face, exiting through the windshield.
“Jason, what is going
on?” She sobbed, her face against her knees.
“Get down under the
dash,” he said, adding even more speed to their pace.
She slid down and huddled
in front of her seat, shaking and praying.
She heard another gunshot
then all of a sudden a jerk as Jason slammed on the breaks and she
could feel the truck skidding forward, then stop.
Jason cursed and smashed
down the button on his seat belt and unbuckled, slinging the
seat-belt off of him. He reached into the center console and pulled
his pistol from it, smacking the bottom of the handle against his
palm to jam the magazine into place and then chambered a round as he
slowly opened the door and ducked, pointing the pistol towards the
back of the truck.
Another shot rang out and
Jason ducked back in and pulled his door shut as complete silence
fell around them.
“Jay,” Melody
whispered.
“Stay here.” He pushed
his door open and set one foot on the dirt road.
“Don't leave me!” She
whispered again.
“Don't move. I'll be
right back.”
“Jay please-”
But he'd already gotten out
of the truck and shut the door behind him.
She crouched down and
looked up out the windshield at the pine trees that were on either
side of the road. Not a sound reached Melody's ears from outside. The
only thing she could hear was the blood pounding through her head as
her heart slammed against her chest.
She sucked in deep breaths
and wished she had her inhaler with her as the air grew thicker. Her
breathing became shallow, threatening an attack, but she closed her
eyes and tried to force herself to stay calm.
Tears rolled silently down
her cheeks as she waited for Jason to come back.
The longer she waited the
harder it was for her to sit still. She sat with her ears straining
for a sound. Any sound. But everything was so quiet. Unnaturally so.
She laid her head against
the side of her seat and hugged her knees. “God, please help,”
she murmured as rain began to pound down against the windshield and
some of it leaked through the bullet-holes. “Where's Jason?”
Finally, she heard a
scuffling noise right outside her door and a moment later she heard
it being opened.
She turned and let out a
scream as she saw a dark tan hand reaching for her. She smacked at it
and kicked at the man/s stomach without even looking at his face.
He pulled back for a
minute, giving Melody just enough time to leap over the driver's seat
and throw the door open, jumping out on the road.
She looked around and
screamed, “Jason!”
There was no reply.
“Jason!” She shrieked,
but still no answer.
She turned and saw the man
run around the truck and lunge towards her.
She let out a choked shout
and ran for the woods on the other side of the road. She didn't look
back to see if he was following her, but just ran as fast as she
could, dodging branches and tumbling over the briar covered ground.
She heard a crack behind
her and something slammed into a tree in front of her. It wasn't a
bullet, but she didn't have time to see what it was as she flew past
it and turned to the right onto a deer path and found it easier to
run without the thick underbrush growing up and tripping her.
Another crack behind her
and something whizzed past her face, just barely missing her and it
sunk into the ground in front of her. It looked like some kind of a
dart as she ran past it and turned again, back into the thick of the
woods.
She glanced back for a
split second and saw the man speeding behind her, carrying a large
pistol with a thick barrel. He was gaining on her quickly and she
pushed herself to run harder as the air continued to grow thicker and
thicker and her breathing became more and more difficult.
Her flip flops had flown
off before she'd even reached the woods and she could feel the ground
thorns digging into her bear feet every time they made contact.
She wished that she had
worn her long jeans instead of the ones cut off at the knees when she
felt stinging of her legs as the taller thorns brushed over her them,
forming dozens of tiny razor-like slices all over her bare calves.
She continued to snatch in
shallows breaths as she ran deeper and deeper into the woods,
glancing back every now and then only to see that her efforts were
doing her little good as the man continued to slowly, but steadily
gain on her.
As she jumped over a log,
she choked down a breath the wrong way and began coughing for air.
Tripping over the log, she lay for a moment, trying to get a breath
in before forcing herself back to her feet to continue running.
It was hardly running
anymore, though. She barely picked her feet up off the ground, but
managed to keep up her pace enough to move steadily.
The sound of the river
caught her ears and she made one last desperate effort to dash
towards it. If she could just get to it, she'd float on her back and
let the current sweep her away until she could get to a shore. Her
father had taught her how to do it years before when she was a little
girl and it was the only way she saw out of this. If there was a way
out of it.
In a few more minutes, she
broke out onto to the narrow, red clay shore and stopped. The river
rushed in front of her and she second guessed whether or not this was
a good idea. Shooting her gaze down the river she saw that it looked
clear enough with no debris, but still, she didn't know how much of
an undercurrent there was that could pull her under and prevent her
from getting back to the surface.
She gasped in a few deep
breaths and turned in the hope that she had lost her pursuer. That
hope grew as she scanned the treeline and saw no sign of him. Not a
sound came from the woods and everything looked perfectly still.
She leaned over and rested
her hands on her knees, allowing herself time to focus on a few good
breaths.
Then, Jason flashed in her
mind and her heart skipped a beat at the thought of him. Where was
he? Why hadn't he answered her when he called? What on earth was even
going on? This was crazy! She's never even heard of-
A cracking sound behind her
broke her thought in half and she jumped up, turning to see the last
thing she'd wanted to.
The man stood only a few
yards away from her with the strange pistol raised level with her
chest. “Don't move,” he said in broken English.
Melody didn't give herself
time to think before she made one swift motion of bending her knees
and throwing herself, backwards, into the river.
First question: How can you say two words in "broken English?" Broken English means he missed the connector words like "is, a, an..." etc, making his speech more like "You, get in car." instead of "You, get in the car." I don't think you can say two words in broken English...it's just too small a sentence. :P
ReplyDeleteThis was good though! I was called away for a short time during the middle of the chapter and I hurried back as quickly as I could...good job. :)
Good job! This chase scene is better than before.
ReplyDeleteUm, I don't think Melody is too wishy-washy, but I still am not understanding what exactly she is struggling with?
The conversation in the truck: It started out fine, but once Melody spotted to car speeding toward them, the conversation seemed to change. It didn't seem real. It almost felt... patchy? Maybe?
AHHH! I totally want to know what happens now! Yikeseee!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Anna!
Tirzah